What Goes Around

JC Curriculum Vitae

2009-03-03T23:36:00.000-08:00

Jesus Christ

Address: Ephesians 1:20

Phone: Romans 10:13

My name is Jesus – The Christ. Many call me Lord. I’ve sent you my resume because I’m seeking the top management position in your heart. Please consider my accomplishments as set forth in my resume.

Qualifications

· I founded the earth and established the heavens, (Proverbs 3:19)

· I formed man from the dust of the ground, (Genesis 2:7)

· I breathed into man the breath of life, (Genesis 2:7)

· I redeemed man from the curse of the law, (Galatians 3:13)

· The blessings of the Abrahamic Covenant comes upon your life through me, (Galatians 3:14)

Occupational Background

· I’ve only had one employer, (Luke 2:49)

· I’ve never been tardy, disobedient, slothful or disrespectful.

· My employer has nothing but rave reviews for me, (Matthew 3:15-17)

Skills / Work Experiences

· Some of my skills and work experiences include: empowering the poor to be poor no more, healing the broken hearted, setting the captives free, healing the sick, restoring sight to the blind and setting at liberty them that are bruised, (Luke 4:18).

· I am a Wonderful Counselor, (Isaiah 9:6). People who listen to me shall dwell safety and shall not fear evil, (Proverbs 1:33)

· Most importantly, I have the authority, ability and power to cleanse you of your sins, (I John 1:7-9)

Educational Background

· I encompass the entire breadth and length of knowledge, wisdom and understanding, (Proverbs 2:6)

· In me are hid all of the treasures of wisdom and knowledge, (Colossians 2:23)

· My Word is so powerful; it has been described as being a lamp unto your feet and a lamp unto your path, (Psalms 119:105)

· I can even tell you all of the secrets of your heart, (Psalms 44:21)

Major accomplishments

· I laid my life so that you may live, (II Corinthians 5:15)

· I defeated the archenemy of God and mankind made a show of them openly, Colossians 2:15)

· I’ve miraculously fed the poor, healed the sick and raised the dead.

· There are many more major accomplishments, to many to mention here. You can read them on my website, which is located at: www dot – the BIBLE. You don’t need an internet connection or computer to access my website.

References

· Believers and followers worldwide will testify to my divine healings, salvation, deliverance, miracles, restoration and supernatural guidance.

Now that you’ve read my resume. I am confident that I’m the only candidate uniquely qualified to fill this vital position in your heart. In summation, I will properly direct your paths, (Proverbs 3:5-6), and lead you into everlasting life, (John 6:47). When can I start? Time is of the essence, (Hebrews 3:15)

Are You Certified?

2009-02-23T22:46:00.000-08:00

Symptoms of a CERTIFIED SINGLE:

Mahilig kumain.
Panalo ang social life. Alam lahat ng gimikan at mall sale.
Hayok sa tulog.
Gadget-addict.
Sa cellphone, group message nang group message ng quotes.
Ngumingiti kahit nag-iisa.
Tumataba.
Porma to the max.
Mukhang happy kahit hindi naman talaga.

Symptoms of a CERTIFIED TAKEN:

Walang pera.
Mukhang ngarag at laspag.
Kuripot.
Blooming, kasi, kailangan para hindi iwan.
Walang social life kundi dyowa niya.
Boring kausap

Colonoscopy

2009-01-04T04:40:00.000-08:00

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.

"I should be in charge," said the brain ,
"Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the blood ,
"Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach,"
Because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the legs,
"because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."

"I should be in charge," said the eyes,
"Because I allow the body to see where it goes."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum,
"Because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum And insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.

Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache,
the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery,
and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.

The Moral of the story?

The asshole is usually in charge!!!

A World Without Filipinos

2008-12-30T22:19:00.000-08:00

An article in the Arab News, the leading English language newspaper in Saudi Arabia, talks about the indispensability of the Filipinos working in the Middle East.

English Letter

2008-09-07T04:31:00.001-07:00

Karate Wire

2008-04-08T13:20:00.001-07:00

This wire is wired up to do those karate stance.

Nails in the Fence

2008-04-08T02:42:00.000-07:00

Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence.
(Most importantly the last sentence)

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence Over the next next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down.

He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there. " A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed.

They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us."

YOU ARE MY FRIEND AND I AM HONORED!

Please forgive me if I have ever left a hole.

How to Start Your Day with a Positive Outlook

2007-11-18T02:21:00.000-08:00

1 . Open a new file in your PC .

2. Name it " Boss "

3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN

4 . Empty the RECYCLE BIN

5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete Boss permanently?"

6. Answer calmly, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly....

7. Feel better?

HAVE A NICE DAY

The Five Finger Prayer

2007-11-18T02:19:00.000-08:00

This is beautiful - and it is surely worth making the 5 finger prayer a part of our lives.

1. Your thumb is nearest you. So begin your prayers by praying for those closest to you. They are the easiest to remember. To pray for our loved ones is, as C. S. Lewis once said, a "sweet duty."

2. The next finger is t he pointing finger. Pray for those who teach, instruct and heal. This includes teachers, doctors, and ministers. They need support and wisdom in pointing others in the right direction. Keep them in your prayers.

3. The next finger is the tallest finger. It reminds us of our leaders. Pray for the president, leaders in business and industry, and administrators. These people shape our n ation and guide public opinion. They need God's guidance.

4. The fourth finger is our ring finger. Surprising to many is the fact that this is our weakest finger, as any piano teacher will testify. It should remind us to pray for those who are weak, in trouble or in pain. They need your prayers day and night. You cannot pray too much for them.

5. And lastly comes our little finger - the smallest finger of all which is where we should place ourselves in relation to God and others. As the Bible says, "The least shall be the greatest among you." Your pinkie should remind you to pray for yourself. By the time you have prayed for the other four groups, your own needs will be put into proper perspective and you will be able to pray for yourself more effectively.

Friends Come in All Sizes

2007-11-18T02:03:00.001-08:00

They come in all sizes.

They will support you

...and respect your creativity by thinking out of the box

They will be there when you need a shoulder to lean on...

...or a great big hug.

A true friend takes interest in
understanding what you're all about....

They see beyond the black and white to discover your true colors....

And accept you just the way you are... even when you just wake up in the morning

So make your own kind of music.

Follow your heart wherever it takes you....

And when someone reaches out to you, Don't be afraid to love them back....

They may just be a friend for life....

Practice patience and tolerance.....

Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave....
And impossible to forget!
Share this with all your unforgettable friends today...

Christian Ways to Reduce Stress

2007-10-21T05:45:00.000-07:00

An Angel says, "Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice."

1. Pray

2. Go to bed on time.

3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.

4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.

5. Delegate tasks to capable others.

6. Simplify and unclutter your life.

7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)

8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.

9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.

10. Take one day at a time.

11. Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety. If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.

12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.

13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.

14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.

15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.

16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line.

17. Get enough rest.

18. Eat right.

19. Get organized so everything has its place.

20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.

21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.

22. Every day, find time to be alone.

23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.

24. Make friends with Godly people.

25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.

26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good "Thank you Jesus."

27. Laugh.

28. Laugh some more!

29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.

30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).

31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).

32. Sit on your ego.

33. Talk less; listen more.

34. Slow down.

35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.

36 . Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before. GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU. "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31)

My instructions were to send this to four people that I wanted God to bless and I picked you. I decided to send it to more than four, because I didn't want to limit blessings. SEND IT FORWARD PLEASE, not backward!

The Best in Man

2007-10-16T08:22:00.000-07:00

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.

Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.

It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. "Really?" she heard whispered. "I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!" and, "I didn't know others liked me so much," were most of the comments.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in
VietNam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature.

The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.

As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. "Were you Mark's math teacher?" he asked. She nodded: "yes." Then he said: "Mark talked about you a lot."

After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.
"We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it."

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.

"Thank you so much for doing that," Mark's mother said. "As you can see, Mark treasured it."

All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home."

Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album."

"I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary"
Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me at all times," Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: "I think we all saved our lists"

That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be.

If you've received this, it is because someone cares for you and it means there is probably at least someone for whom you care.

-" IF YOU WANT TO GET THE BEST OF A MAN, YOU MUST LOOK FOR THE BEST THAT IS IN HIM." -Bernard Haldane

Savor the Coffee

2007-10-16T08:17:00.000-07:00

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, were talking at
a reunion and decided to go visit their old university professor, now
retired.During their visit the conversation soon turned into complaints about
stress in their work and lives.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and
returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups- porcelain,
plastic,glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite,
telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the alumni had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said:
"Notice that all of the nice looking, expensive cups were taken up,
leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only
the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. Be
assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases
it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink.

What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you
consciously went for the best cups…and then you began eyeing each other's
cups.

Now consider this: Life is the coffee; your job, money, and position in
society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life.
The type of cup one has does not define, nor change the quality of Life
a person lives. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to
enjoy the coffee God has provided us."

God makes the coffee, man chooses the cups. The happiest people
don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.

Enjoy your coffee!

-- Author Unknown

Sagot sa Bangungot

2007-10-10T04:14:00.000-07:00

Isang basong tubig kontra bangungot COMPUTER age na tayo, pero may nagkukuro pa rin na ang bangungot ay dahil minumulto sa panaginip. May modernong eksplanasyon na, dahil mga Pacific islanders ang madalas binabangungot, marahil ay dulot ito ng pagkain nang sobrang maalat, tulad ng bagoong.

Sa huling saliksik sa Japan at China, ang bangungot ay "acute hemorrhagic pancreatitis". Dinurugo ang pancreas, organ na naglalabas ng chemicals na pagtunaw sa kinain. Pinag-aralan ng mga doktor ang huling kinain ng mga biktima ng bangungot. Nabatid nila na karamihan ay kumain ng pansit bago matulog. Pero hindi noodles ang nagbunsod ng pancreatic attack kundi dehydration o pagtuyot ng tubig sa katawan. Ang noodles ay nag-a-absorb ng tubig sa katawan. Lumalala ito kung nasabayan ng pag-inom ng alak at wala nang iba panglaman ang tiyan. Nagkakaroon daw ng electrolyte imbalance at iba pangkomplikasyon.'Yun daw ang sinapit ni aktor Rico Yan. Payo ng mga doktor, uminom ng isang basong tubig bago matulog, lalo na kung nagpansit. Noon pa sina- sabi ng mga erbolaryo na uminom ng kumulong tubig, lalo na pagkatapos mag-inuman. Iwas bangungot.

Napaka-halaga ng tubig sa tao. Ang katawan natin ay 70% tubig.Nagsisimula tayong mauhaw sa pagbawas ng 1% lang ng body fluids, at maaari tayong mamatay kung umabot sa 10%. Sampung araw lang ang kayang itagal ng tao nang walang tubig. Isang basong tubig lang, patay na ang pagkalam ng sikmura sa hatinggabi, anang mga dieticians sa University of Washington. Naiibsan ang pesteng back at joint pains ng apat sa bawat limang pasyente sa pag-inom lamangng 8-10 basong tubig araw-araw. Limang baso nga lang kada araw,nababawasan ang risk ng breast cancer nang 80%, at ang bladder cancernang 50%. Higit sa lahat, ang tubig at hanging hinihinga natin ang bumubuhay sa 100 bilyong brain cells para tayo makapag-isip, magbasa,bumilang at lumikha.

The Dead Dog and His Faithful Friend

2007-10-10T02:46:00.000-07:00

Hey, wake up! wake up!

A dog was knocked down by a car and died on the middle of the road.

Later, another dog is seen beside the corpse of the dog,

he tried to wake his friend up using his leg.

Let's move to the safer side of the road...i will move you to the safer side!
When his attempts to wake his friend failed, he tried to push his friend to the side of the road. But the weight of his friend was proven too heavy for him.

Anyone help, tell me what to do.

Though the traffic is busy and dangerous, he just will not go away from his friend.

Just stand beside his friend howling and crying.

A lot of people saw this incident and feel very touched.

How even a dog can show his loyalty and love to his friend.

Govermentium: A New Chemical Element

2007-10-06T04:44:00.001-07:00

The recent graft and corruption issues are proof of the existence of a new chemical element. A major research institution has recently announced the discovery in 2006 of the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element has been named Governmentium (Gv). It has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction to what it comes in contact with. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would takeless than a second to complete what would normally take over four days.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 6 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons change places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with Money, Governmentium becomes Administratium – an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons. When catalyzed with MORE MONEY, Governmentium and Administratium combine to become a true dastard of an element, popularly referred to as GMA.

Fake Friends, Real Friends

2007-10-06T02:09:00.001-07:00

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM

FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shirt so long they forget its yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd that left you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say I'M HOME!

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for a while.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this!
REAL FRIENDS: Will send it back to you.

When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out In Your Arms

2007-10-01T04:58:00.000-07:00

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid; I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.

Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life.

It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.

Dew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.

Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so.

I moved Dew's hands aside and said you go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.

However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt.

Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. Icouldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.

When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.
Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.

When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.

Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.

She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month's time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason wassimple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.

She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning.

I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage romantically.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I drove to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vague.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger.

I didn't tell Dew about this.

I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.
Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He said.

To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly.

I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old.
I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn't notice that our life lacked intimacy.
I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious.

She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.

When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.

"DESTINY is not a matter of CHANCE, It's a matter of CHOICE "
" Destiny would only lead you to the right person, but it can never bind you together; for it's YOU who holds the rope of a wonderful relationship! "

The 23rd Psalm Explained!

2007-10-01T04:53:00.000-07:00

The Lord is my Shepherd ----- that's Relationship!
I shall not want ----- that's Supply!
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures ---- that's Rest!
He leadeth me beside the still waters ----- that's Refreshment!
He restoreth my soul ----- that's Healing!
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness ----- that's Guidance!
For His name sake ----- that's Purpose!
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death ----- that's Testing!
I will fear no evil ----- that's Protection!
For Thou art with me ----- that's Faithfulness!
Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me ----- that's Discipline!
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies ----- that's Hope!
Thou annointest my head with oil ----- that's Consecration!
My cup runneth over ----- that's Abundance!
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life ---- that's Blessing!
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord ----- that's Security!
Forever ----- that's Eternity!

Dessert Personality Test

2007-10-01T04:47:00.000-07:00

It's tough to pick just ONE!

If all of the desserts listed below were sitting in front of you, which would you choose?(Sorry, you can only pick one!)

Trust me...this is very accurate. Pick your dessert, and then look to see what psychiatrists think about you.

After taking this dessert personality test, send this e-mail on to others, but when you do, be sure to put your choice of dessert in the subject box.

ALSO, SEND IT TO THE PERSON WHO SENT IT TO YOU.

Here are your choices:

>1. Angel Food Cake
>2. Brownies
>3. Lemon Meringue
>4. Vanilla cake with Chocolate Icing
>5. Strawberry Short Cake
>6. Chocolate on Chocolate
>7. Ice Cream
>8. Carrot Cake

No, you can't change your mind once you scroll down, so think carefully what your choice will be...............

OK -Now that you've made your choice this is what research says about you...

1.ANGEL FOOD CAKE: Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm and fuzzy items. A little nutty at times. Sometimes you need an ice cream cone at the end of the day. Others perceive you as being childlike and immature at times.

2. BROWNIES: You are adventurous, love new ideas, are a champion of Underdogs and a slayer of dragons. When tempers flare up you whip out your saber. You are always the oddball with a unique sense of humor and direction. You tend to be very loyal.

3. LEMON MERINGUE: Smooth, sexy,& articulate with your hands, you are an excellent after-dinner speaker and a good teacher. But don't try to walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit of a diva at times, but you have many friends.

4. VANILLA CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE ICING: Fun-loving, sassy, humorous, not very grounded in life; very indecisive and lack motivation. Everyone enjoys being around you, but you are a practical joker. Others should be cautious
in making you mad. However, you are a friend for life.

5. STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE: Romantic, warm, loving. You care about other people, can be counted on in a pinch and expect the same in return. Intuitively keen. Can be very emotional.

6. CHOCOLATE ON CHOCOLATE: Sexy; always ready to give and receive. Very creative, adventurous, ambitious, and passionate. You can appear to have a cold exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid to take chances. Will not settle for anything average in life. Love to laugh.

7. ICE CREAM: You like sports, whether it be baseball, football, basketball, or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but you enjoy watching sports. You don't like to give up the remote control. You tend to be self-centered and high maintenance.

8. CARROT CAKE: You are a very fun loving person, who likes to laugh. You are fun to be with. People like to hang out with you. You are a very warm hearted person and a little quirky at times. You have many loyal friends.

Filipinism 101

2007-10-01T04:30:00.000-07:00

These are the words that are so unique and loaded in meaning that they will never find a direct translation in the English language. Forget traditional dictionaries. Keep this.

Achuchu (A-chu-chu).

This refers to the pointless insincerities being said during long, involved conversations about nothing at all.

Ano (A-noh)

The all-around, all-purpose word for everything.
(1) Pronoun in interrogation: Ano? (What)
(2) Noun: Where is your ano? (Where is your father/mother/dead-uncle's-second-cousin)
(3) Verb: Anuhin this. (Paint/kill/maim/castrate this.)
(4) Adjective: This is so ano. (This is so pretty/big/astounding.)
(5) Interjection: Ano!?! (What the hell!)
(6) Substitute for genitalia: Did you ano your ano?

The use of ano is quite dangerous for the untrained ear, and must be put into the proper setting. "Honey, the ano is too long, we have to cut it," must be accompanied by the proper understanding of the context, as results may be critical to a couple's future.

Booba (boo-bah).

A female blessed with larger than usual mammary glands, which can be used as weapons of mass destruction.

Checheboreche (Che-che-boh-re-che)

Same as achuchu. It is interesting to ponder on the reason why there are so many words in the Filipino language that beautifully describe meaningless chatter.

Epal (Eh-pal).

An individual who believes he is God. In short, ang kapal nya!

Gigil (gee-gil).

An uncontrollable desire to bite something.

Hipon (Hee-pon).

Literally "shrimp," whose body is eaten while its head is thrown away, this refers to a female whose body is to die for and whose face looks like it belongs to the dead.

Kikay (kee-kay).

Refers to individuals who carry a brush, hand wash, moisturizer, lip-gloss and various other facial enhancements in a case (aptly called a kikay kit) inside her bag. Recent inspections of various backpacks have led to the conclusion it is not a purely female trait. This breed cannot resist checking themselves out on mirrors, glass windows, bread knives, sidewalk puddles and plastic-covered notebooks.

Kaekekan (Ka-ek-e-kahn)

Same as achuchu and chechebureche.

Kilig (keel-leg).

A rush of excitement due to the actions, presence or even mention of he whom you see as the future father of your children.

Laglag-brip (lag-lag-brip).

The female counterpart of laglag-panti

Laglag-panti (lag-lag-pan-tee).

A man so incredibly hot, so heart-stoppingly gorgeous and oozing with masculinity that female underwear (whether worn by males or females) falls to the ground without effort whatsoever.

Indyanero (In-jan-neh-ro).

An individual who fails to appear at an appointment without prior warning. Not to be confused with individuals who appear according to Filipino time (approximately 10 minutes before the meeting is to end)

Japorms (Jah-porms).

Describes an individual dressed differently from the usual (typically involves clothes that have been laundered and pant legs of roughly the same length)

Lagot (Lah-got)

A prophesy of evil things to come.

Para (Pah-rah).

A term that informs the driver of a jeep to stop and pause (usually in the middle of the road) as the individual speaking intends to leave the vehicle. Dangerous for individuals as drivers seem to believe having one foot in the air is all that is necessary for descent.

Takusa (Ta-kuh-sa).

Derived from takot sa asawa (afraid of wife), this is a term used to describe the silent (very silent) minority of males married to feminine reincarnations of Hitler.

Torpe (tore-peh).

A gentleman who is desperately attracted to a female yet by some strange compulsion is reduced to a frozen mound of stuttering male whenever that female is near.

Armed with this list and a smile, you will be sure to make the proper impression not just on your new relations, but on your loved one as well. Now let's practice:

"Honey, when I first saw you, I made laglag brip, and was almost torpe. When I finally got the nerve to date you, I almost became indyanero, because I didn't think I had the right japorms. When you're around, I'm kilig, when you're not, I get gigil. You may think all this is achuchu, kaekekan, just checheboreche, but in truth, my love, I'm so ano with you."

The Beauty of Math

2007-09-30T01:13:00.000-07:00

Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at numbers.

1 x 8 + 1 = 9

12 x 8 + 2 = 98

123 x 8 + 3 = 987

1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876

12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765

123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654

1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543

12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432

123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11

12 x 9 + 3 = 111

123 x 9 + 4 = 1111

1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111

12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111

123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111

1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111

12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111

123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88

98 x 9 + 6 = 888

987 x 9 + 5 = 8888

9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888

98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888

987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888

9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888

98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn't it?

And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1

11 x 11 = 121

111 x 111 = 12321

1111 x 1111 = 1234321

11111 x 11111 = 123454321

111111 x 111111 = 12345654321

1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321

11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321

111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321

Now, take a look at this...

101% From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:

What Equals 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been in situations where someone wants you to GIVE OVER 100%.

How about ACHIEVING 101%? What equals 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then

H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K

8+1+18+4+23+ 15+18+11 = 98%

And: K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E

11+14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%

But: A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E

1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%

THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:

L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D

12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:

While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!

It's up to you if you share this with your friends & loved ones just the way I did..

Transportmers

2007-09-29T03:24:00.000-07:00

Seven Reasons NOT to Mess With a Child

2007-09-29T00:41:00.000-07:00

REASON #1

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

REASON #2

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

REASON #3

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

REASON #4

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

REASON #5

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out,"And there's the teacher, She's dead. "

REASON #6

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.."; "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

REASON #7

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want God is watching the apples.

The Priest That Cannot Lie

2007-09-27T01:34:00.000-07:00

A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving from Switzerland. She found herself seated next to a nice priest whom she asked: "Excuse me Father, could I ask a favor?" "Of course my child, What can I do for you?" "Here is the problem, I bought myself a new sophisticated hair remover gadget for which I paid an enormous sum of money. I have really gone over the declaration limits and I am worried that they will confiscate it at customs. Do you think you could hide it under your cassock?" "Of course I could, my child, but you must realize that I cannot lie." "You have such an honest face Father, I am sure they will not ask you any questions", and she gave him the 'hair remover'.

The aircraft arrived at its destination. When the priest presented himself to customs he was asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare? "From the top of my head to my sash, I have nothing to declare, my son", he replied. Finding this reply strange, the customs officer asked, "And from the sash down, what do you have?" The priest replied, "I have there a marvelous little instrument destined for use by women, but which has never been used." Breaking out in laughter, the customs officer said, "Go ahead Father."

The Seed

2007-09-26T01:19:00.000-07:00

A successful businessman was growing old and knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the business.

Instead of choosing one of his directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the young executives in his company together.

He said, 'It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I have decided to choose one of you.' The young executives were shocked, but the boss continued. 'I am going to give each one of you a SEED today - one very special SEED. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO.'

One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed.

Everyday, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow. Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing. By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn't have a plant and he felt like a failure.

Six months went by - still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues, however. He just kept watering and fertilizing the soil - He so wanted the seed to grow.
A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection. Jim told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But she asked him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick at his stomach, it was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right. He took his empty pot to the board room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful -- in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt sorry for him!

When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives. Jim just tried to hide in the back. 'My, what great plants, trees, and flowers you have grown,' said the CEO. 'Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!' All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the financial director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified. He thought, 'The CEO knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!'
When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his Seed - Jim told him the story.

The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, 'Behold your next Chief Executive! His name is Jim!'

Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even grow his seed. How could he be the new CEO the others said?

Then the CEO said, 'One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today.

But, I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead - it was not possible for them to grow. All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers.

When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive!'

If you plant honesty, you will reap trust.
If you plant goodness, you will reap friends.
If you plant humility, you will reap greatness.
If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment.
If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective.
If you plant hard work, you will reap success.
If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation.

So, be careful what you plant now; it will determine what you will reap later.

The Four Blessed Looks

2007-09-24T00:47:00.000-07:00

Look back and thank God.
Look forward and trust God.
Look around and serve God.
Look within and find God!"

"I asked God, 'How do I get the best out of life?'

God said, 'Face your past without regrets. Handle your present with confidence. And prepare for the future without fear!'"

"Without God, our week is: Mournday, Tearsday, Wasteday, Thirstday, Fightday, Shatterday and Sinday. So, allow Him to be with you every day!"

"Life is short, so forgive quickly. Believe slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably. Never regret anything that makes you happy. And have a wonderful journey!!!"

The Cross We Bear

2007-09-16T00:51:00.000-07:00

Whatever your cross, whatever your pain,

there will always be sunshine, after the rain ....

Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps even fall,

But God's always ready, To answer your call ...

He knows every heartache, sees every tear,

A word from His lips, can calm every fear ...

Your sorrows may linger, throughout the night,

But suddenly vanish, dawn's early light ...

The Savior is waiting, somewhere above,

To give you His grace, and send you His love ..

Whatever your cross, whatever your pain,

"God always sends rainbows .... after the rain ... "

Frozen Cherry Trees

2007-09-12T00:58:00.000-07:00

What Animals Can Teach Us About Living

2007-09-12T00:36:00.000-07:00

Crime Ring: Harvesting Kidneys

2007-09-12T00:30:00.000-07:00

This is a true story, it has been confirmed, the Medical Centre phone number at the end of this story is real. This guy went out on a Saturday night a few weeks ago to a party. He was having a good time and had a couple of beers and some girl seemed to like him & invited him to go to another party. He quickly agreed & decided to go along with her.

She took him to a party in some apartment and they continued to drink,& even got involved with some drug (unknown). The next thing he knew, he woke up completely naked in a bathtub filled with ice. He was still feeling the effects of the drugs, but looked around to see he was alone. He looked down at his chest, which had CALL 000 or YOU'LL DIE" written on it with lipstick. He saw a phone was on a stand next to the tub so he Picked it up & dialled. He explained to the EMS operator what the situation was & that he didn't know where he was, what he took, or why he was really calling. She advised him to get out of the tub. He did, and he appeared normal, so she told him to check his back. He did, he found two 9 inch slits on his lower back. She told him to get back into the tub immediately, and they sent a rescue team over.

Apparently, after being examined, he found out more of what had happened. His kidneys were stolen. They were worth $10,000 each on the black market. Several guesses are in order: The Second party was a sham, the people involved had to be at least medical students & it was not just recreational drugs he was given. Regardless, he is currently in the hospital on a life support, awaiting a spare kidney.

The University of Sydney in conjunction with the Royal Prince Alfred hospital is conducting tissue research to match the victim with a donor. I wish to warn you about a new crime ring that is targeting business travellers. This ring is well organized and wellfunded, has very skilled personnel & is currently operating in most major cities around the world and recently very active in Sydney .

The crime begins when a business traveller goes to a lounge for a drink at the end of the work day. A person in the barwalks up as they sit alone and offers to buy them a drink. The last thing the traveler remembers until they wake up in a hotel room bathtub, their body submerged to their neck in ice, is sipping that drink. There is a note taped to the wall instructing them not to move and to call 000. A phone is on the small table next to the bathtub for them to call. The business traveller calls 000 who have been quite familiar with this crime. The business traveller is instructed by the 000 operator to very slowly and carefully reach behind them and feel there is a tube protruding from the back. The business traveller finds the tube and answers "YES". The 000 operator tells them to remain still, having already sent paramedics to help. The Operator knows that both of the traveller's kidneys had been harvested.

This is not a scam or out of science fiction novel. It is real. It is documented and confirmable. If you travel or someone close to you travels, please be careful. Sadly, this is very true. My friend's husband is a Sydney EMT and they have received alerts regarding this crime ring. It is to be taken very seriously. The daughter of a friend of a fire-fighter had this happen To her. Skilled doctors are performing these crimes! (which, by the way have been highly noted in the Brisbane area). Additionally, the military has received alerts regarding this.

I REALLY WANT AS MANY PEOPLE TO SEE THIS AS POSSIBLESO PLEASE BOUNCE THIS TO WHOEVER YOU CAN.

Michele ShaferDML/Lab AdministrationMedical Manager Research & Development99 Missenden RD , Camperdown, Sydney 2000Tel:(029)5156111;Fax:(029)4621505

I was approached yesterday afternoon around 3.30 pm in the Coles parking lot at Noranda by two males, asking what kind of perfume I was wearing. Then they asked if I'd like to sample some fabulous Scent they were willing to sell me at a very reasonable rate. I probably would have agreed had I not received an email some weeks ago, warning of this scam.The men continued to stand between parked cars, I guess to wait for someone else to hit on. I stopped a lady going towards them, I pointed at them and told her about how I was sent an email at Work about someone walking up to you at the malls, in parking lots, and Asking you to sniff perfume that they are selling at a cheap price.

THIS IS NOT PERFUME - IT IS ETHER! When you sniff it, you'll pass out and they'll take Your wallet, your valuables, and heaven knows what else. If it were not for this email, I probably would have sniffed the "perfume", but thanks to The generosity of an emailing friend, I was spared whatever might Have happened to me, and wanted to do the same for you. These guys hit Sydney And Melbourne 2 weeks ago and now they are doing it in Perth and Queensland .

Things You Won't See Everyday

2007-09-12T00:24:00.001-07:00

European Commission Announced New Official Language

2007-09-12T00:09:00.000-07:00

European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl

What New York Times Say About Kris Aquino (2003)

2007-09-11T05:51:00.000-07:00

She's a fool for sweet-and-sour pork. Her son has big feet. She collects Swatch Bijoux bracelets. She likes to walk around the house naked. The best colors for her skin tone are aqua blue, mintygreen, bubble-gumpink and melon orange. "Red also never fails, especially on Mondays" ? to start her week off happily. These are just a few of the things we know about KrisAquino, 32, bubbly talk-show hostess and youngest daughter of Corazon Aquino, the former Philippine president.

How do we know these things? We know because she tells us ? On her morning celebrity talk show, on her evening game show, on her weekend gossip hour and anywhere else we might be listening. She tells us everything.

To know Ms. Aquino is to really know her. She is a compulsive gossip, and her subject is herself ? her terrible choices in men, the stresses of single parenthood, her dramas with her long-suffering mother. "If you say anything about me, you can say ? The word is tactless," she said. "When I open my mouth, people know that whatever comes out is true."The strange thing is that it's weirdly interesting. This is not, after all, just another bright plastic bauble in the world of entertainment. This is the bearer of the Aquino name, the most revered and unsullied in the nation.

First was her father, Benigno, the assassinated challenger to former President Ferdinand Marcos, and now a national martyr? The man who told hisself-doubting countrymen that, yes, "the Filipino is worth dying for." Then came his widow, Joan of Arc in a yellow dress, leading her people from the darkness of the Marcos dictatorship on the wings of prayer and people power.It has fallen to their youngest daughter to transform the family narrative from a passion play into a soap opera.

If the previous Aquino generation shimmered in the glow of a halo, this one is irradiated by limelight. Where the mother's charisma blossomed from real diffidence, the daughter's is that of the family cut up, charmed by her own charm. Where the mother is demure, the daughter is the type to ask a male model on her talk show: "Are you sure you don't use steroids? You can tell by look ingat the nipples, you know."She is promiscuously friendly ? not a family trait ? inviting onto her show the sons of two former presidents driven from power in disgrace by hermother, Mr. Marcos and Joseph Estrada. Unlike her mother, who has remained loyal to her latehusband, Ms. Aquino has been unable to resist a series of actors and basketball players, usually married and a good deal older than she is. Her 8-year-old son, Josh, is the product of one of these liaisons. NOBODY, inside or outside her family, seems to approve.

The tut-tutting can be deafening."She makes me look like a nun," said Imee Marcos, the eldest daughter of theformer president, who is now a member of Congress. It was she who caused the biggest social scandal of her father's presidency when she ran off with a professional golfer, Tommy Manotoc, from whom she is now separated.

Ms. Aquino's sourest critic seems to be her own brother, Benigno S. Aquino III, who is also a congressman."The whole family is distressed," he said when yet another tiresome scandal made the rounds last year. "We hope that she gets enlightened." He said his mother and sister were shunning each other and that his mother "is leaving it all to God."Ms. Aquino was driven to penitence, telling a television audience, "I have shamed my family."Clearly, she craves her mother's approval, and she presents her with expensive gifts like jewelry and paintings. "I know my mom still loves me,"she said last year. "She'll always be my mom, comewhat may." Her mother forgives and forgives, waiting for her youngest child to grow up."I'm not as bad as everybody's portraying me to be,"Ms. Aquino pleaded then. "If only they would give me love, understanding, good advice."

But soon the sun was shining brightly again. Nothing keeps Ms. Aquino down for long. Of all the family, she is the most like her father, voluble, energetic, extroverted, optimistic ? a natural politician. She started as a child, climbing onstage to sing ather father's campaignrallies. "She was adorable when she was 8, and she's still at it," said Girlie Rodis, who was her first manager. "You never know what's going to popout of her mouth next."When her father was killed in 1983, she rose to address a huge crowd ofmourners, a 12-year-old girl with big glasses. When her mother took office in 1986, her sisters,Pinky, Ballsy and Viel, pitched in as presidential assistants.

Her brother, known as Noynoy, was dutiful and serious. But young Kris had plans of her own. She started shopping for a theatrical agent, and she began a lifelong habit of falling in love with the wrong men, starting off with an actor. Her professional career got under way a decade ago when her mother left office ? a succession of high-energy talk shows and regular appearances in movies.

As her mother faded into the background in the role of national conscience,Ms. Aquino became more prominent. Her shopping sprees, her soul-searching about liposuction and her trips to the beach with Joshare part of the national discourse now."Personally, I'm not interested," said a gossip columnist who did not want his name used when actually gossiping. "She does all these private things in public. I wish she'd keep it to herself."A STRANGE, subversive thought arises. We have seenthis before in Philippinepublic life.The vividness and impulsiveness and hunger for attention, the unabashed self-absorption, the ambition and the calculating mind hidden somewhere behind the fluff ? there is no one she resembles so much as Imelda Marcos, the former first lady.Mrs. Marcos, with her shoes and her jewels and her grandiosity, is of course in a class by herself, one of the stupendously strange egos on the worldstage.

But Ms. Aquino is still young, still searching, still inventing herself. She will not be a talk-show hostess forever. Somethingbigger is waiting forher."My dad would always ask me, `Do you want to be president some day?' she said. "I'd say, `I want to be a movie star.' I think that's why my brother resents me. Because I'm the one."Her mother has secret thoughts about this too, she said. "She sees that there's something in my blood that comes from my dad,"Ms. Aquino said. "She really believes in destiny. She believes it's mydestiny to be in politics."Ms. Aquino will settle for nothing less than theS enate, and she has done the math."Not 2004," she said. "I'll still be too young. Not 2007. Josh will be only12. Maybe 2010. In 2010 I'd be ? how old would I be? ?I'll be 39."It is true that some might recoil at the prospect of aSenator Gidget.

But oddly enough, Ms. Aquino said, her flightiness is apparently an asset. Advertising surveys have shown that her credibility as a chatterbox is high.If she says she uses a product, she probably does. When the time is right and she decides to run, she said, "I know I'd win."In the meantime, her sunny face and fast-paced chatterand her wardrobe ofaqua blue, minty green and bubble-gum pink light uptelevision screens everyday. She starts off with her chat show, "Morning Girls."She gossips on Sundays on "The Buzz." In the evenings she gives away money on a light-hearted quiz show, her signature production. Its title is, "Are You Game?" and its recurrent refrain, which she shouts out together with the audience, could be a motto forMs. Aquino's adventurous life:

The Mayonnaise Jar

2007-09-11T05:45:00.000-07:00

A professor stood before his philosophy class and hadsome items in front of him. When the class began,wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full.

They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.He shook the jar lightly. Thepebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full.

They agreed it was.The professor next picked up a box of sand and pouredit into the jar. Of course, the sand filled upeverything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.

The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee fromunder the table and poured the entire contents intothe jar, effectively filling the empty space betweenthe sand.The students laughed."Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided,"I want you to recognize that this jar represents yourlife.

The golf balls are the important things -- your God, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life wouldstill be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else -- the small stuff."If you put the sand into the jar first," hecontinued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.

The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to getmedical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner.Play another 18. There will always be time to cleanthe houseand fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."One of the students raised her hand and inquired whatthe coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life mayseem, there's always room for a couple of cups ofcoffee with a friend."

Your Birthday Color and Personality

2007-09-11T05:40:00.000-07:00

Your birthday color and your personality

If your birthday is on...... scroll down for your personality.

December 23rd~ January 1st = Red

January 2nd ~ January 11th = Orange

January 12th ~ January 24th = Yellow

January 25th ~ February 3rd = Pink

February 4th ~ February 8th = Blue

February 9th ~ February 18th = Green

February 19th ~ February 28th = Brown

February 1st ~ March 10th = Aqua

March 11th ~ March 20th = Lime

March 21st = Black

March 22nd ~ March 31st = Purple

April 1st ~ April 10th = Navy

April 11th ~ April 20th = Silver

April 21st ~ April 30th = White

May 2st ~ May 14th = Blue

May 15th ~ May 24th = Gold

May 25th ~ June 3rd = Cream

June 4th ~ June 13th = Grey

June 14th ~ June 23rd = Maroon

June 24th = Grey

June 25th ~ July 4th =Red

July 5th ~ July 14th = Orange

July 15th ~ July 25th = Yellow

July 26th ~ August 4th = Pink

August 5th ~ August 13th = Blue

August 14th ~ August 23rd = Green

August 24th ~ September 2nd = Brown

September 3rd ~ Septemeber 12th = Aqua

September 13th ~ September 22nd = Lime

September 23rd = Olive

September 24th ~October 3rd = Purple

October 4th ~ October 13th = Navy

October 14th ~ October 23rd = Silver

October 24th ~November 11th = White

November 12th ~ November 21st = Gold

November22nd ~ December 1st = Cream

December 2nd ~ December 11th = Grey

December 12th~ December 21st = Maroon

Decmeber 22nd = Teal

RED
FF0000 Cute and lovable type, You are picky but always in love...and liked to be loved. Fresh and cheerful, but can be "moody" at times. Capable with people, nice, soft, and that can love you for the way you are. Likes people that are easy to talk to, and can make you feel comfortable.

CREAM
FFFFE0 Competitive and sportive. Don't like losing and always cheerful! You are trustworthy, and very out-going. You choose love carefully, and don't fall in love easily. But once you find the right one, you don't let go for a long long time.

TEAL
008080 You are mostly interested in your looks. And have high standards in picking love. You think and make a solution precisely, and hardly make stupid mistakes. You like to lead, and is easy for you to make new friends.

GRAY
808080 You are attractive, and active. You never hide your feelings, and express everything that's inside. But can be selfish at times. You want to be noticed, and don't like to be treated unequally. You can brighten up people's day. You know what to say at the right time, and you have a good sense of humour.

GREEN
008000 You get along well with new people. You are not really a shy person, but sometimes you can hurt people's feelings by your words... You like to be loved and noticed by your lover, but mostly you are single, waiting for the right person.

GOLD
FFD700 You know what's right and what's wrong. You are cheerful and out going. It's hard for you to find the one you want, but once you find the right person, you won't be able to fall in love again for a long time.

PINK
FFC0CB You are always trying your best in everything, and like to help and care for other people. But you are not easily satisfied. You have negative thoughts, and you look for romantic love like in a fairytale.

YELLOW
FFFF00 You are sweet and innocent. Trusted by many people, and have a strong leadership towards relationships. You make good decision and make the right choice at the right time. And always dreaming of romantic relationship.

MAROON
800000 You are intelligent, and know what's right. You like to make things go your way, which can sometimes cause trouble for not thinking about other people's feelings. But you are patient when it comes to love... Once you get a hold of the right person, it's hard for you to find a better love.

ORANGE
FFA500 You are responsible for your own actions, and you know how to treat people. You always have goals to reach, and are competitive. When it comes to friendship, you find it hard to trust someone, but once you find the right friend, you trust them for ever.

PURPLE
800080 You are mysterious, never selfish and get interested in things easily. Your day can be sad or happy depending on your mood. You are popular between friends but you can act stupid at times, and forget things easily. You go for person that's trustworthy.

LIME
00FF00 You are calm, but easily stressed out. You get jealous easily, and complain over little things. You can't get stuck into one thing, but you have a capable personality for everyone to trust you and like you.

SILVER
C0C0C0 You are imaginative and shy, but you like trying new things. You like to challenge yourself. You learn things easily, and like "Hard to get". Your love life are normally hard and confusing.

BLACK
000000 You are challenging, and have the "guts". But you don't like changes in your life. And once you make a decision, you keep it that way for a long time. Your love life is also challenging, and different.

OLIVE
808000 You are warm and light hearted. You seem to flow well with friends and family. You don't like violence and know what's right. You are kind and cheerful, but don't envy other people easily.

BROWN
8B4513 You are active and sportive. It's hard for other people to become close with you, but you fall in love easily. But once you find out you can't get something, you give up and let go easily as well.

BLUE
0000FF You have low self-esteem, and very picky. You are artistic and like to fall in love, but you let your love pass by, by loving with your mind, not your heart.

NAVY
000080 You are attractive, and love your life. You have a strong feeling towards everything. And very easily distracted. Once you get angry at someone, it's hard for you to forgive them.

WHITE
FFFFFF You dream and have goals in your life. You get jealous easily and you don't react to things easily. You are different and sometimes thought highly by others.

AQUA
00FFFF Your feelings change suddenly and easily. You are always lonely, and like travelling. You are truthful, but listen and believe other people too easily. It's hard to find love for you, and you get lost in love easily, Sometimes you get hurt by love.

How to Break the Bad News

2007-09-11T05:33:00.001-07:00

Ganito magbigay ng masamang balita :

KUMIRIRING ang telepono nang madaling araw....

"Hello, Sir Carlos? Si Arnaldo po ito, 'yung katiwala
niyo sa bahay-bakasyunan niyo."

"O, Arnaldo, ikaw pala. Ano't napatawag ka? May
problema ba?

"E, napatawag lang po ako para abisuhan kayo na
namatay ang alaga niyong parrot."

"'Yung parrot kong si Pikoy, patay? 'Yung nanalo sa
bird show?

"Opo, Sir Carlos, 'yun na nga po."

"Putris ... sayang! Ang laki pa naman ng nagastos ko
sa ibong 'yon.

Hay, buhay! Teka, ano nga ba ang ikinamatay niya?"

"E, kumain po kasi ng bulok na karne...."

"Bulok na karne? At sino namang salbaheng tao ang
nagpakain sa kanya ng bulok na karne?"

"W-Wala po. Nanginain po siya ng karne ng isang patay
na kabayo."

"Patay na kabayo? Anong patay na kabayo, Arnaldo?"

"E, 'yun pung mga thoroughbred horses niyo, Sir.
Namatay po kasi lahat sila sa pagod, kahihila ng
kariton ng tubig."

"Nasisiraan ka na ba ng bait? Anong kariton ng
tubbbiiiiggggg? "

"Yun pong pinampatay namin ng sunog."

"Diyos ko po! Anong sunog naman 'yang pinagsasasabi mo?"

" Yun pong halos tumupok sa bahay niyo.... Tumumba po
'yung isang
nakasinding kandila, tapos nagliyab 'yung kurtina at
mabilis na kumalat ang apoy...."

"Ano?? E, may kuryente naman diyan sa bahay-bakasyunan, a.
Para saan 'yung kandila?"

"Para sa burol po."

"Ano? Kaninong burol?"

"Sa nanay n'yo po, Sir. Bigla kasi siya dumating dito
nu'ng isang gabi, walang kaabi-abiso. Lampas
hatinggabi na. Akala ko po magnanakaw. Binaril ko.

Free Transporation for Returning OFW Courtesy of OWWA

2007-09-08T00:53:00.000-07:00

Here's a news from the Phil. Gov't. for returning overseas workers. Sorry na lang sa inyo kasi apparently this benefit does not apply to immigrants! However, you may want to pass on the news to some OFW's you know. Enjoy.

Mga Kabayan, sa wakas may pupuntahan na rin ang ibinabayad natin sa OWWA.

SUPER GANDANG BALITA ITO, KAYA TAYO NA SAKAY NA MGA KABAYAN SAAN

KA PA??? SA PILIPINAS KA NA... MABUHAY ANG PILIPINAS!!!

Paki-kalat nalang po itong magandang balita sa mga kababayan nating nasa ibang bansa at may balak na magbakasyon sa ating bayan (Pilipinas). Ito ang ipinagmamalaki ng ating Gobyerno sa mga OFW's na may pinupuntahan ang ating ibinabayad sa OWWA at ito na nga ang libreng sundo mula sa NAIA 1& 2.

Sana mag-isip pa ng mas magandang benefit ang ating Gobyerno para sulit naman ang binabayad ng mga OFW's.

Libreng sundo from the airport 'pag kayo'y nagbakasyon. PAGKAKATAON NA ITO!!!!

Mga kababayan, simula raw sa ngayon eh libre na ang sundo sa NAIA 1 & 2 terminals para sa mga balik-manggagawa. Malaking katipiran na ito, lalo na sa mga nauwi sa malalayong lugar, tulad ng Aparri at Jolo. Sana po ay tangkilikin ninyo ang bagong serbisyo na hatid sa atin ng pamahalaan. Ito raw po ang katas sa mga ikinakaltas sa atin ng OWWA (Office na Walang ginagawa pero Walang Awa).

Kaya tangkilikin ninyo.

Scroll down lang po mga kababayan......

Company Policy Effective 2007

2007-09-08T00:40:00.000-07:00

Dress Code
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing an Italian made shoes and carrying a Samsonite bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Thursdays & Fridays.

Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 2 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

You Know You are Living in 2007 When...

2007-09-08T00:33:00.000-07:00

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2007 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played Solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't#9 on this list

AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself.

Tears of Sadness

2005-11-16T01:06:00.000-08:00

When things go wrong, When sadness fills your heart, When tears flow in your eyes,
Just let me know,

Because, I want to be there for you,
BECAUSE!!!!
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My Friend is Selling Tissue PapersBuy 1, Get 1 Free...

The Eye of God

2005-11-07T05:52:00.000-08:00

This is AWESOME!

Dear All:

This photo is a very rare one, taken by NASA. This kind of event occurs once in 3000 years. This photo has done miracles in many lives. Make a wish ... you have looked at the eye of God. Surely you will see the changes in your life within a day. Whether you believe it or not, don't keep this mail with you. Pass this at least to 7 persons.
This is a picture NASA took with the hubble telescope. Called "The Eye of God". Too awesome to delete. It is worth sharing.

During the next 60 seconds, Stop whatever you are doing, and take this opportunity. (Literally it is only One minute!)

Just send this to people and see what happens. Do not break this, please.