The recent graft and corruption issues are proof of the existence of a new chemical element. A major research institution has recently announced the discovery in 2006 of the heaviest element yet known to science.
The new element has been named Governmentium (Gv). It has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction to what it comes in contact with. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would takeless than a second to complete what would normally take over four days.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 6 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons change places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with Money, Governmentium becomes Administratium – an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons. When catalyzed with MORE MONEY, Governmentium and Administratium combine to become a true dastard of an element, popularly referred to as GMA.
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